Parkallen Restaurant

7018 109 Street

Parkallen Restaurant has redefined itself. Once home to mediocre pizza and decent to good lebanese cuisine, the restaurant is now the proud owner of a fancy decor and a massive wine list. They had a free food function a couple weeks ago (trying to stay current with these posts) in celebration of their new look and list, and I was shocked to find out that the restaurant’s food, including their less-than-mentionable pizza, has not changed.

Their wine list is impressive though (if you’re impressed by things like wine lists). It is definitely the biggest list in Edmonton and has rare and vintage wines from all over the world. They even have a rare bottle that was rumored to have been given to a cabbie from Rick Mercer that is worth 50,000 dollars.

Yep, a restaurant with a website that looks like this sells a 50,000 dollar bottle of wine.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to dump on the joint’s food too hard, it’s just that something doesn’t seem to fit:

“Well let’s see, I guess I’ll have the burger….it’s still 10 dollars, right? Ok. Give me a side of onion ring also, hmmmm….. and I’ll take this 50,000 dollar bottle of wine . Thanks”

Anyways, here’s where I pull up and say the nice thing at the end: Parkallen Restaurant has the best wine list in the city.

These are my thoughts.

So, one of the guys from that band Fucked Up has a side-project called Young Governor. Their (his?) Virginia Creeper single from last year (last year?) is dope. Another dope thing that he did was release a 7 inch called “Pizza Face”. The seven inch is a see-through pic of a pizza sandwiched in some plexiglass. Apparently the sound quality is poor, but the idea quality is high. Check it out hur.

Indies Pub and Grill

8 Holburn Road

Kingston

So there is pizza in Jamaica. I know that sounds like an ignorant thing to say but to be honest I didn’t expect there to be very much ‘za in the tropical paradise other than resort town chain restaurants. Dominos is pretty popular here in the capital city and there is Pizza Hut next to Juici Patties on Knutsford blvd in New Kingston.

Also in New Kingston (it figures, really), the Indies Bar and Grill boasts to be the “Home of the Original Jamaican Pizza”. I smell tourist trap.

Indies was the first place (not first bar. First Place) I visited to on my first visit to Ja-ay but I just had a Red Stripe and chicken. The place was alright but the lighting was weird.

One night, across the street, I was sitting on my hotel’s veranda shooting the shit with ex-pat and current-dirtbag Mikey (not his real name), when a confirmed cutie strolled passed us with a box of pizza. I played it cool while Mikey went in for the kill.

“you gonna finish that whole thing?” The pervy grin on his face gave it all away: he had no interest in the pizza.

After some late-night confessions, Mikey disappeared into the night.

Oh how good things come to those who wait. Soon after Mikey left, the pizza-cutie returned with a half eaten pizza and offered the rest to me. We got to talking and she told me that she is from the O.C. (the place, not the show) and she is doing some sort of military thing in a small village in the country. She was in Kingtson to party with a friend.

[these are not her and her friend partying, this is a shot from a party held at the Bar.]

Granted it was the discards from a valley girl (can i say that about Orange County? Is that what O.C. is short for?), but the pizza was pretty gross. Dry crust, thin cheese and too-think, too-spicy pep. The restaurant’s sign might’ve read “Home of the Original Jerk Pizza”….probably should have eaten the Jerk Pizza instead of writing a review based on barely visiting a restaurant and barely eating their pizza. There is always next time.

[Ok, poll time: when I wrote "Oh how good things come to those who wait" above, how many of you thought I was referring to the pizza and how many thought I was referring to the return of the cutie?]

Anyways, Jamaica’s sweet, Kingston is great and my heart go out to everyone that has lost family and friends in the recent violence downtown. I wish everyone safe passage through the city.

SliceoflifeEdmonton turned a year old a few days ago.

It has been pretty slow these last few months, but I think things will pick up soon.

Every Wednesday, Dominos Pizza sells any topping medium pizzas for 5 dollars. The restaurant refers to the day as “Wacky Wednesdays”. Do you know what else will be wacky and start with a dub?

Wyrd Alberta.

Wyrd Alberta is a travelling music festival. A bunch of bands (14) are playing 3 dates in 3 cities. I will be volunteering for the Edmonton date and working the pizza tent. Come see me for free samples*

Slice of Life cannot speak on Women (neither the headlining band or the gender), but he can say the following things: Jazz’s new cassette is sweet, buddy from Brazilian Money loves a pizza, and Fist City is a big tune.

Check this link for more info, or check the poster

*This is not true. There is no Pizza tent, there will be no free samples. I am technically volunteering though, but will most likely just be goofing off and telling jokes. Come see me for some jokes.

B Street Bar Wood Oven Pizza
11818 111 Avenue

After learning that Edmonton’s The Falklands were once paid in pizza for a gig, I immediately made plans to hit up a joint with their gitman Mark.

I had been to the  B-Street bar (actually on 111 street) for karaoke once and, aside from finally learning how good Wynonna could be, did not have much to say about the place. I expected grimy dive-bar, but found a place that was very clean and modern (read: not what i’m into). I did not know that they were a pizza joint until making plans with Mark, who informed me that they not only serve pizza, they woodfry it in a stone oven. Very exciting.

In fact, the pizza was very dissapointing. The sauce was bland, the pepperoni was  cold-cut style and the dough was dull. I shouldn’t be so hard on it, but for a place that advertises woodfried pizza, I expected a little more. The joint may not look like a grimy dive-bar, but it sure tasted like one.

Anyways, Mark was wonderful company, but the pizza sucked. Check out the Falklands at a pizza joint near you.

The following photos, taken from the bar’s website, leave me with some some thoughts: Does Brad Scott only play 11 cover tunes? That is just not enough to start a cover tune night (ask Mark), and since when does hosting a Cowboy-themed Karaoke night call for a “we shall overcome-everyone on stage” type of celebration?

In their issue before the current one, See Magazine reviewed Flamingo’s Restaurant and Lounge. It is good to see people coming around to good pizza joints. If the quality of restaurant reviews is measured by the amount of Scarface (as in the Geto Boys rapper, hold the Tony Montana) references, then my review of the Meadowlark-based eatery is superior. But they aren’t and it isn’t.

You can’t get pizza for 26 cents anymore.

Photo courtesy of ignoreedmonton.com

Mama’s Pizza

10531 107 Avenue Nw, Edmonton

I often romanticize the idea of a young couple falling in love and building a future together. Hand in hand, together against the world, they push forward taking on life’s challenges. This exciting life journey usually begins with the renting of the first apartment where the seed of the young couple’s special bond is planted. One of the most poignant aspects to this fantasy is the first dinner in the new apartment, which I always imagined to be a candle-lit, take-out meal on hardwood floor surrounded by boxes from the recent move. Just a beautiful thing. Recently this fantasy became a reality for me, as I moved into a new apartment with a loved one. And as is usually true, reality is never as sweet as a dream.

Phil and I moved into a cozy one-bedroom apartment on 109 ave, near 109 street. The building had been uninhabited for many years, so we had to get power re-connected. Due to confusion from both EPCOR and my landlord (not me), we were without power for 3 days. No biggie; we stepped with the 2by4 (is this even a saying, I’ve been using it for years……think it’s supposed to be like ‘roll with the punches’). The walls in the building are paper thin, and we could hear our neighbours crystal clear, forcing Phil to share a bed with me at nights. It is also freezing.

Despite all this, Phil and I decided to celebrate or new life together by picking up a pizza. We called up our new neighbour/old friend Jon, and moseyed on over to Mama’s Pizza on 107th Ave. I had eaten at Mama’s before, but was too distracted by the awe-inspiring mural art to take note of the pizza.

True to my fantasy, we sat on the floor of the apartment surrounded by boxes and ate our pizza. We snaked a single light that was plugged in to a hallway outlet and listened to Jim Reeves on Jon’s portable turntable.

Mama’s pizza is good. The joint doubles as a Vietnamese Noodle house, but we ordered a large Bacon and tomato pizza regardless. Crust was near perfect (a bit greasy, but good greasy), and bacon was near-disgusting. Somehow these things balanced each other out, making for a decent pie. Despite its decent taste, Mama’s will likely be remembered more for its wild mural art than it’s pizza: a sloppy, seemingly unfinished Edmonton Oilers mural, a similarly sloppy Eskies mural, and an extremely elaborate and far-from-sloppy painting of London’s Tower Bridge. Just wild.

The more that I think of it, that night wasn’t the fantasy-crusher that I made it out to be. It was a blast making jokes with Jon and Phil, and the pizza was good. There was just something that seemed missing from my romanticization……Probably the romance.

Update: phil has since left me for both a cheaper apartment and a cheaper room-mate. but hey, I ain’t mad at cha

chuck e. cheese’s

14245 137th Avenue NW, Edmonton

Recently, a few mates and I found ourselves on the north side- not that north side- the north west of edmonton. we had about an hour to kill before seeing mariah carey grace the silver screen in Precious (authors side note: two thumbs up). and looking for a distraction and something to eat we had to look no further than the opposite end of the parking lot to the chuck e. cheese (14245 137th Avenue NW).

You may be familiar with this establishment from younger days where the chuck served as a dim and grubby backdrop for many a birthday party. the matted fur of the mascot and his animatronic movements had you reaching for the swamp water with one hand while reaching into the cesspool of plastic balls with another (to promptly throw at another child’s head). well, times have changed and while some of the old standards are still around (namely the animatronic mouse and self-serve soft drink machine), the atmosphere is now less a lounge and more like a casino for children. with pizza.

For a mere $30 you and your friends can enjoy the Munch ‘n Play Saver Combo (TM) which consists of a large pizza with 2 soft drinks and 25 tokens with which to bide your time waiting for that pie. we opted to split the pizza toppings and went for half super combo (peperoni, sausage, beef, black olives, green peppers, mushrooms, and red onion) and half cheese. The tokens were also divvied up and were played on a ms. pac man arcade and the classic carnival game, skee-ball. there may also have been a few “rides” on the horse and jockey game, for another post.

Our pizza arrived in a timely manner (author’s note: it was a weeknight and aside from one other “family”, we were the only patrons) and actually looked half decent. the crust: one notch above thin, crispgreasy at the edge and pretty delicious. the sauce: nothing remarkable about the flavor but an appropriate amount per surface area. and the toppings; i was slightly disappointed, but not entirely surprised, that the sausages on the super combo side were those little round sausage bits (where do you even buy those?) that looked like chuck e’s pellets and were about as appetizing. the tasteless canned black olives, mediocre pep and fecal sausage amounted to one clear fact: the super combo was not a winner. on the other hand, the cheese pizza slices were – dare I say-  some of the best I’ve ever had. which is not surprising when you consider the chuck’s target customers, the 3-8 year olds. for this age group, cheese pizza is king. they know their audience and know how to deliver a cheese pizza that is broiled to pure perfection.

I don’t know if frequenting this establishment is the road I want to go down to obtain more of this cheese pizza in the future. it’s just too risky. i mean, they have a hand sanitizing stations and padded posts at every turn. it’s just too much to gamble showing up there with a serious hankering for cheese pizza and be confronted with innumerable germy kids hopped up on soda, let loose in a carnival of eternal birthday party. so i guess my question is, do they deliver?

Of interest, when googling “chuck”, chuck e. cheese appears as the first search result. right before chuck noris. zing!